I’ve found that the final weeks of the year have a relentless quality. Depending on your sector, you could be facing some combination of project deadlines, fundraising campaigns, required annual reporting, final exams, or holiday performances.
Social gatherings—whether with work colleagues, friends, or family—fill the calendar, leaving little precious time to reset and recharge.
This week in particular, our inboxes have filled with appeals for donations, interwoven with “limited-time” discounts aimed at supercharging holiday shopping.
Even in the best of times, I’ve observed a general cultural tendency to focus on what is missing: the tasks unfinished, the needs unmet. From the conference room to the living room, “not enough” has become our default mindset.
But these are not normal times. Most mission-driven organizations have experienced not only devastating budget cuts, but also attacks on their very mission and core principles.
In the face of funding and staffing reductions, even maintaining the status quo can be a challenge. For many of us, “not enough” is no longer simply a mindset, but rather a lived reality.
The problem
“Not enough” has become so fundamental to our culture that we barely notice it. Yet its effects are real and often harmful: it drives burnout, alienates potential contributors, and undermines our capacity for long-term, mission-driven work.
When every contribution feels insufficient, people either run themselves ragged or disengage entirely.
Recently, I experienced this problem firsthand when a volunteer leader publicly called out several groups—including one that I co-organize—for not stepping up on a particular initiative. My immediate reaction was defensive: we WERE stepping up, investing considerable time in other key projects. I left the e-mail chain.
Later, I realized that this is precisely what “not enough” thinking does. When leaders focus only on gaps rather than start where people are contributing, they push away the very people they need.
A practice and a principle
I’ll freely admit that I’m as prone as anyone to the “not enough” mindset in my consulting, volunteer, and care work. But in recent months, I’ve developed an approach that helps keep this impulse in check: Lead with gratitude.
This phrase is deliberately open ended and plays with the dual meaning of “lead.”
On one hand, it is directed at leaders (either formal organizational leaders or those of us leading from within). Leading with gratitude is a practice of actively and intentionally recognizing contributions, including the critical invisible work that people do to keep an organization running.
By leading with gratitude, you strengthen relationships, build trust, and help others stay motivated. When you know that your efforts are seen, acknowledged, and valued, you’re more likely to engage and contribute.
On the other hand, “lead” can also mean “begin.” Here, “lead with gratitude” describes a broader principle for going into any new situation: whether in action or interaction, make gratitude your first step.
This shift in mindset can make all the difference—both for you and for anyone you interact with. For example, when a key stakeholder takes weeks to respond to my e-mail, my first reaction is one of frustration. But when I start with gratitude—reminding myself of the ways that person contributes, despite a full plate—I can view the situation more clearly: even if this person isn’t suited to constant engagement, they still bring immense value when they step up.
Disclaimer and exercise
Leading with gratitude doesn’t mean ignoring real shortcomings or avoiding difficult conversations. It’s possible to be both grateful to someone and alert them to a need for more (or better) effort.
This isn’t about lowering your standards, but rather about changing your starting point.
Replacing “not enough” with gratitude requires a fundamental mental shift, and this takes practice. So as we push through this very busy time of year, I encourage you to try the following simple exercise:
1. Think of a recent time when someone’s action fell short of what you had needed or hoped for.
2. Practice saying out loud (or write down) what you are genuinely grateful for. Not “at least they tried,” but a real recognition, e.g., “they brought a new perspective I hadn’t thought of.”
3. Notice how this shifts your thinking about next steps. Does this change how you might interact with that person or how you view the situation?
Whether you’re managing a team, managing up, or managing yourself, leading with gratitude will serve as a bulwark against burnout and “not enough” thinking. Ultimately, this mental shift builds the foundation for sustainable, impactful, and humane work.
Copyright 2023 Intellerate Consulting. All rights reserved.